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Jul. 29th, 2005 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73I think I understand how Shannon feels about "Seventh Heaven." Only I'm feeling this way toward that horrendous show, "What Not To Wear." I'm strangely fascinated and appalled at the guts this show has to insult people, to define them by their fashion, and to rip them (and their clothing) apart. If any of my 'friends' ever sent that show after me, there is no way in hell that I would cooperate. I watched them rip apart one woman tonight, and turned off the second episode when they went to give $5,000 to another woman to shop with. The woman is a bigwig for UNICEF. I'm sure $5,000 to spend on clothes was the her top priority for spending. I'm finding this show both addicting and revolting, all at the same time. But there's only so much addiction one can stomach, I suppose.
On other notes, Vacation Bible School is over for another year. I was with the three-year-olds this year, which is always a trip. I realized yesterday that last year I was with the fours, the year before with the threes, and the year before with the twos; I had the same core group of kids for three years in a row. Now they're all five and wearing the same color t-shirt as the older campers, no more bright colors to distinguish them as kids that need to be herded in a different direction. But my kids were adorable, and they'll sing at Mass on Sunday, which will be even more adorable. I've been singing the same songs with them all week, and I fall asleep still singing them to myself. (I think my favorite chorus is "God, help me remember/ what I need to do/ Help me to serve others/ in everything I do/ When I'm walking/ When I'm running/ When I'm standing/ Or when I'm jumping/ Everything I say/ Everything I do/ It must be done in love/ It must be done in love/ MUST-BE-DONE-IN-LOVE-HEY!") Last night as I was falling asleep, I started thinking about a few of the directions of my life, some decisions to make and some reactions I'm having to things I don't have a lot of control over. There's a lot of mulling in my head that poured itself out into an extremely long, private journal entry the other day, and it all mulled itself to pieces last night. And then I started singing one of the lines, Lay your troubles at His feet, and things felt so much calmer. I found myself remembering how a few years ago I made the decision to turn my love life over to God for a summer, to see where He would direct it, and maybe I need to make the move again to turn things (and not just my love life) over to God. There is a release I feel when I do this, a release that is really hard to explain. But it isn't just a decision, it's a process, something I need to realize and then keep reminding myself of. I think that's how faith works. That's why I don't like the idea of being "born again;" I think that faith and trust in God are a process, a continuing decision, something to commit myself to on a really regular basis, not just once.
I didn't know what to expect coming home, especially in terms of spirituality. I've really appreciated how my friends here have recognized and really accepted the growing need for it in my life, instead of ignoring it and pretending it isn't there.
In other good notes (but ones that are not related at all), I am getting a haircut tomorrow, and then going to David Wimmer's wedding. And Tony Molek will be there. Mana, I'll keep you posted on if I declare any new national holidays. Say, for example, National Tony Molek Day.
I'm going to Omaha on Monday, which is really exciting for me. Omaha feels very safe to me these days, and I think it will be good for me to be there. I wish everyone I know had a safe place to be where they could play with people who care about things they care about.
On other notes, Vacation Bible School is over for another year. I was with the three-year-olds this year, which is always a trip. I realized yesterday that last year I was with the fours, the year before with the threes, and the year before with the twos; I had the same core group of kids for three years in a row. Now they're all five and wearing the same color t-shirt as the older campers, no more bright colors to distinguish them as kids that need to be herded in a different direction. But my kids were adorable, and they'll sing at Mass on Sunday, which will be even more adorable. I've been singing the same songs with them all week, and I fall asleep still singing them to myself. (I think my favorite chorus is "God, help me remember/ what I need to do/ Help me to serve others/ in everything I do/ When I'm walking/ When I'm running/ When I'm standing/ Or when I'm jumping/ Everything I say/ Everything I do/ It must be done in love/ It must be done in love/ MUST-BE-DONE-IN-LOVE-HEY!") Last night as I was falling asleep, I started thinking about a few of the directions of my life, some decisions to make and some reactions I'm having to things I don't have a lot of control over. There's a lot of mulling in my head that poured itself out into an extremely long, private journal entry the other day, and it all mulled itself to pieces last night. And then I started singing one of the lines, Lay your troubles at His feet, and things felt so much calmer. I found myself remembering how a few years ago I made the decision to turn my love life over to God for a summer, to see where He would direct it, and maybe I need to make the move again to turn things (and not just my love life) over to God. There is a release I feel when I do this, a release that is really hard to explain. But it isn't just a decision, it's a process, something I need to realize and then keep reminding myself of. I think that's how faith works. That's why I don't like the idea of being "born again;" I think that faith and trust in God are a process, a continuing decision, something to commit myself to on a really regular basis, not just once.
I didn't know what to expect coming home, especially in terms of spirituality. I've really appreciated how my friends here have recognized and really accepted the growing need for it in my life, instead of ignoring it and pretending it isn't there.
In other good notes (but ones that are not related at all), I am getting a haircut tomorrow, and then going to David Wimmer's wedding. And Tony Molek will be there. Mana, I'll keep you posted on if I declare any new national holidays. Say, for example, National Tony Molek Day.
I'm going to Omaha on Monday, which is really exciting for me. Omaha feels very safe to me these days, and I think it will be good for me to be there. I wish everyone I know had a safe place to be where they could play with people who care about things they care about.
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:06 am (UTC)I am trying to turn things over...well, more like let things go and let myself be guided. It is hard, and it is an ever-present decision you have to make. I loved your entry for saying that. I think the hardest part is waiting for things you want or letting go of things you want once you know that you can't have them. At least, that's the hardest part for me.
Why aren't you here?
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:39 pm (UTC)I think that sometimes, I wait for things I know I can't have.
I'm glad to be seeing you soon. We'll have plenty to update each other about.
love,
~Therrt
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 11:06 pm (UTC)I think that is my favorite saying for the weekend. Your response also. I know I saw you in MN, but I think you might have to drop by here on your rounds of Omaha anyway. Miss ya!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-31 06:26 pm (UTC)Waiting is so hard, for all those different things. I hope soon, that we can all find things we want and can also have.
Sorry to hear about "China." Let's catch up soon.
love,
~Therrt
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:17 am (UTC)It's harder when you have more confidence in yourself than in a god.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:43 pm (UTC)But I've definitely gotten away from that more recently. We'll see how it goes.
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Date: 2005-07-30 05:03 am (UTC)Tony Molek! For some reason just reading his name cracked me up.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:47 pm (UTC)Single-whammies are about all I can handle usually. Depending on the day. :)
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Date: 2005-07-30 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 04:48 pm (UTC)