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Jul. 6th, 2004 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73Lots of thinking tonight, with some of the musings out loud to Jenn on our way home from the movie. What kind of solidarity am I looking for next year (or rather, this year) in Denver? I guess I mean, what kinds of things am I willing to go without when I start this journey, a journey that includes living off $75/month for expenses outside of room and board? Sure, I am easy to entertain on a day-to-day basis; I don’t go out much, having learned to be fully entertained by those that surround me. My main regular expense is probably going to be my long distance bill. But on the less-regular basis, what do I do about travel? How do I balance my need to see my family at holidays with my need to live within the ideas of simplicity? How do I temper my desire to go to Georgia in November, when that just might not be possible?
Jenn and I saw “The Alamo” tonight, and it put me in an off mood. Again, I need to stop going to movies with violent themes to them. They don’t do me any good. Tonight, the scene that got me was toward the end, when Santa Ana’s army is being killed as they cross a river. And all I could think about was sitting at the Rio Sumpul in El Salvador, about squishing my feet in that river’s mud, about sitting in the heat on that sand listening to stories from Victoria about the slaughter that occurred at that river. All I could think about were images of her running across her town, fleeing soldiers, with the ground covered by bodies, with more and more bodies falling into the Rio Sumpul. And as we saw the blood of the Mexican army in the movie, I saw in my head the blood of Salvadoran citizens. I bit my lip and brushed at my eyes; the Hopkins dollar theater is not the place for a mess of tears.
Last week the group of us saw “Man on Fire.” And while I enjoyed the movie’s plot, I realized again that I need to stop going to movies that show violence, because it gets to be too much for me. The night before, I’d read the part of “Cunt” where Inga Muscio instructs readers to walk out of any movie that shows a rape. She tells us that we should demand out money back from the theater manager, saying that we will not pay money to see people raped. That all made a lot of sense to me as I read it. Then I was at “Man on Fire” the next night, and Denzel Washington’s character is killing and torturing people in order to find a kidnapped child. If I am not okay with paying money to see someone raped, am I okay with paying money to see someone killed, especially in various vicious ways? No, I’m not okay with that. Did I walk out, though? No.... And I didn’t walk out of the war movie tonight, either. When do I start crossing lines for things I believe in, when do I start crossing them when repercussions follow? How do I already cross lines, and what more am I willing to do?
I had a marvelous weekend, prior to all these questions flying out. Colin and Caitlin were here, and I haven’t had a weekend of this much fun in a really long time. We played tourists the whole weekend, and it was wonderful. I got to re-fall in love with the Twin Cities, and I think the wonders of Minnesota induced some MN-love in Colin, as well. Cait and I spent all the car rides scoping out ideal houses for a Catholic Worker community, and Colin and I talked about being neighbors some day in the Loring Park area. Friday we spent all day in Minneapolis- Downtown, the U area, Uptown, all over. We played at Loring, shopped and bummed at Uptown (Ragstock!), wandered the Sculpture Garden, took photos on the bridge, bounced by a payphone, ate at a Vietnamese place by the U, watched Colin get pierced at Saint Sabrina’s, and even saw theater- “The Many Rejections of Calvin Waters” at Brave New Workshop. And that was all on Friday, before we hung out for a bit at Shannon’s and also found out Jill was in EP for the weekend! Saturday we slept in before picking up Shannon to go to the Science Museum over in St. Paul. We just got to play and be curious kids all afternoon, climbing on things, playing with the experiments, listening to alligator noises, and pretending to be smart college kids. I loved learning and rediscovering all these new things, and I loved watching my friends be amazed and grin at all the toys and set-ups. There’s nothing like watching people you care about be really happy to be somewhere. After our playful and informative afternoon, we swung by to pick up Jill for dinner at Noodles. It was good to be able to spend some time with her for the evening, and we went out to Comedy Sportz- Jill, Cait, Colin, Cathy, and me. Sunday was playtime with pets- our cat, the Wimmer’s bird, and later with Shannon’s puppy. The three of us were good little patriot consumers- we spent the 4th at the Mall of America, though riding rides instead of really shopping. The stores we were in were the games and juggling stores, mostly. We all love rides, so that was way more exciting. After dinner (at a locally owned place I knew how to get to!), we eventually went over to Round Lake (er, ‘Fecal Lake’) for the fireworks, complete with oooohs and aaaahs. And yesterday they left. I didn’t cry, partly because I know I’ll see them very soon and partly because I was just so darn happy they’d been here that tears weren’t even anywhere close.
Jenn and I saw “The Alamo” tonight, and it put me in an off mood. Again, I need to stop going to movies with violent themes to them. They don’t do me any good. Tonight, the scene that got me was toward the end, when Santa Ana’s army is being killed as they cross a river. And all I could think about was sitting at the Rio Sumpul in El Salvador, about squishing my feet in that river’s mud, about sitting in the heat on that sand listening to stories from Victoria about the slaughter that occurred at that river. All I could think about were images of her running across her town, fleeing soldiers, with the ground covered by bodies, with more and more bodies falling into the Rio Sumpul. And as we saw the blood of the Mexican army in the movie, I saw in my head the blood of Salvadoran citizens. I bit my lip and brushed at my eyes; the Hopkins dollar theater is not the place for a mess of tears.
Last week the group of us saw “Man on Fire.” And while I enjoyed the movie’s plot, I realized again that I need to stop going to movies that show violence, because it gets to be too much for me. The night before, I’d read the part of “Cunt” where Inga Muscio instructs readers to walk out of any movie that shows a rape. She tells us that we should demand out money back from the theater manager, saying that we will not pay money to see people raped. That all made a lot of sense to me as I read it. Then I was at “Man on Fire” the next night, and Denzel Washington’s character is killing and torturing people in order to find a kidnapped child. If I am not okay with paying money to see someone raped, am I okay with paying money to see someone killed, especially in various vicious ways? No, I’m not okay with that. Did I walk out, though? No.... And I didn’t walk out of the war movie tonight, either. When do I start crossing lines for things I believe in, when do I start crossing them when repercussions follow? How do I already cross lines, and what more am I willing to do?
I had a marvelous weekend, prior to all these questions flying out. Colin and Caitlin were here, and I haven’t had a weekend of this much fun in a really long time. We played tourists the whole weekend, and it was wonderful. I got to re-fall in love with the Twin Cities, and I think the wonders of Minnesota induced some MN-love in Colin, as well. Cait and I spent all the car rides scoping out ideal houses for a Catholic Worker community, and Colin and I talked about being neighbors some day in the Loring Park area. Friday we spent all day in Minneapolis- Downtown, the U area, Uptown, all over. We played at Loring, shopped and bummed at Uptown (Ragstock!), wandered the Sculpture Garden, took photos on the bridge, bounced by a payphone, ate at a Vietnamese place by the U, watched Colin get pierced at Saint Sabrina’s, and even saw theater- “The Many Rejections of Calvin Waters” at Brave New Workshop. And that was all on Friday, before we hung out for a bit at Shannon’s and also found out Jill was in EP for the weekend! Saturday we slept in before picking up Shannon to go to the Science Museum over in St. Paul. We just got to play and be curious kids all afternoon, climbing on things, playing with the experiments, listening to alligator noises, and pretending to be smart college kids. I loved learning and rediscovering all these new things, and I loved watching my friends be amazed and grin at all the toys and set-ups. There’s nothing like watching people you care about be really happy to be somewhere. After our playful and informative afternoon, we swung by to pick up Jill for dinner at Noodles. It was good to be able to spend some time with her for the evening, and we went out to Comedy Sportz- Jill, Cait, Colin, Cathy, and me. Sunday was playtime with pets- our cat, the Wimmer’s bird, and later with Shannon’s puppy. The three of us were good little patriot consumers- we spent the 4th at the Mall of America, though riding rides instead of really shopping. The stores we were in were the games and juggling stores, mostly. We all love rides, so that was way more exciting. After dinner (at a locally owned place I knew how to get to!), we eventually went over to Round Lake (er, ‘Fecal Lake’) for the fireworks, complete with oooohs and aaaahs. And yesterday they left. I didn’t cry, partly because I know I’ll see them very soon and partly because I was just so darn happy they’d been here that tears weren’t even anywhere close.
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To a long lost friend
Date: 2004-07-06 09:13 pm (UTC)As I read your words today, I can't help but feel as though all these years later, I see we think alike, contemplate alike, ponder the world in like ways. I couldn't help but think, as I read your words, that i might have been reading the words of one of my dearest friends from Luther. It amazes me.
At any rate, I hope you're well. I hope your family is well. Say hello to them for me. I hear you're off to Denver...amazing...I know you'll have a profound impact on this world...it's just waiting for you.
Take care of yourself, and be in touch if you wish!
Peace,
Courtney
(courtneyallensworth@hotmail.com)
no subject
Date: 2004-07-06 11:51 pm (UTC)Same with rape. What if a movie shows a rape in an effort to show audiences how vicious and horrid this crime really is, to try to break through their barriers and explain to them what it's really like. There's a difference between movies that use murder and violence to titilate and those who use it to educate. But it can be tough to define what's what.
Of course, sometimes we just gotta walk out to throw up, cuz it's just too vicious. I've done that at movies before.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 08:17 pm (UTC)I love Jill Westfall.