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Mar. 1st, 2004 11:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73I seem to be in a far better mood today and yesterday afternoon than I was Saturday day or Sunday morning. You know things are bad and that I am stressed out when even William notices and will sit on the couch and hold me while I cry. Twice in one day.
I don't really know what was wrong. All I know is that I shed a lot of tears over the course of 24 hours, for no particular reason. I think the gist of the tears is covered in the theme, "Shitty Things Should Not Happen To All These Amazing And Wonderful People That I Love." With a sub-theme of, "And Also, Theresa Cannot Handle Stress Today, Apparently."
But William and Caitlin held me, and Meghan listened to me and handed me Kleenex and let me pour things out. It's just that bad things are happening to people I love, and I hate that. People don't deserve these crises. And it's not that I feel overwhelmed by people telling me things, or that I feel I'm being leaned on too much, it's just that it all made me so sad. And then I came home to situations with roommates that shouldn't have stressed me out, but they did, and.... and, and, and.... Oh, I just got all emotional. And let’s not even talk about my school project that I am behind on. There was some goodness Saturday evening between these crying sessions. Community had a cat for the evening, so that was more fun than I expected. That’s a long story, and it isn’t very interesting, so I won’t tell it. Oh, but she did have six toes on each foot.
I finally went to bed about 1:00 Sunday morning (after not getting up until 11:00 Saturday morning). I slept until about 11 on Sunday. But then after I was out of my bed, I realized that I was absolutely not ready to face humanity yet, so I crawled back into my bed. I laid there awake for a while, sniffling and feeling miserably pitiful for myself, until I fell back to sleep and got up about 1:15 in the afternoon. At that point, I got up, ate breakfast, and felt human again, and I’ve been just fine ever since. I still don’t really know what was up precisely, but it somehow got fixed after a lot of tears, sleep, and a bowl of Frosted Flakes.
I feel as if this all sounds so very vague, which I don’t intend, but.... that’s sort of the way everything has been.
Spring Break is coming up very soon, and that makes me exceedingly happy. Or, it would be making me exceedingly happy if it had hit yet that it is coming so soon. I will get to spend time in four different states, and that excites me. We’re going to the Des Moines Catholic Worker this coming weekend for our annual trip to this peace award banquet, so that’ll be awesome. Then I’ll have time at home for a few days to relax and play with my parentals before my mom and I fly up to Marquette to see Cathy. I’m way excited to play with her at her college, and I anticipate that she will be a wonderful hostess. :)
On a different note, I’ve been doing that thing where I feel jealous, and where I pretty much hate that I feel that way. I rarely get jealous, so when I do, it’s darn bothersome. It’s just hard when you love your friends, but you feel left out when they love each other’s company, and you’re the one who introduced them. Man, I love it that people have friends, but why aren’t I in on all the stories and playtime?
Oh, and I gave up chocolate for Lent. I thought it was an obvious choice since we’ve had so much around the house. Except that I keep forgetting. Oops. It’s just hard, because giving up chocolate doesn’t feel meaningful. At all. I don’t know what would, though, this year.
I don't really know what was wrong. All I know is that I shed a lot of tears over the course of 24 hours, for no particular reason. I think the gist of the tears is covered in the theme, "Shitty Things Should Not Happen To All These Amazing And Wonderful People That I Love." With a sub-theme of, "And Also, Theresa Cannot Handle Stress Today, Apparently."
But William and Caitlin held me, and Meghan listened to me and handed me Kleenex and let me pour things out. It's just that bad things are happening to people I love, and I hate that. People don't deserve these crises. And it's not that I feel overwhelmed by people telling me things, or that I feel I'm being leaned on too much, it's just that it all made me so sad. And then I came home to situations with roommates that shouldn't have stressed me out, but they did, and.... and, and, and.... Oh, I just got all emotional. And let’s not even talk about my school project that I am behind on. There was some goodness Saturday evening between these crying sessions. Community had a cat for the evening, so that was more fun than I expected. That’s a long story, and it isn’t very interesting, so I won’t tell it. Oh, but she did have six toes on each foot.
I finally went to bed about 1:00 Sunday morning (after not getting up until 11:00 Saturday morning). I slept until about 11 on Sunday. But then after I was out of my bed, I realized that I was absolutely not ready to face humanity yet, so I crawled back into my bed. I laid there awake for a while, sniffling and feeling miserably pitiful for myself, until I fell back to sleep and got up about 1:15 in the afternoon. At that point, I got up, ate breakfast, and felt human again, and I’ve been just fine ever since. I still don’t really know what was up precisely, but it somehow got fixed after a lot of tears, sleep, and a bowl of Frosted Flakes.
I feel as if this all sounds so very vague, which I don’t intend, but.... that’s sort of the way everything has been.
Spring Break is coming up very soon, and that makes me exceedingly happy. Or, it would be making me exceedingly happy if it had hit yet that it is coming so soon. I will get to spend time in four different states, and that excites me. We’re going to the Des Moines Catholic Worker this coming weekend for our annual trip to this peace award banquet, so that’ll be awesome. Then I’ll have time at home for a few days to relax and play with my parentals before my mom and I fly up to Marquette to see Cathy. I’m way excited to play with her at her college, and I anticipate that she will be a wonderful hostess. :)
On a different note, I’ve been doing that thing where I feel jealous, and where I pretty much hate that I feel that way. I rarely get jealous, so when I do, it’s darn bothersome. It’s just hard when you love your friends, but you feel left out when they love each other’s company, and you’re the one who introduced them. Man, I love it that people have friends, but why aren’t I in on all the stories and playtime?
Oh, and I gave up chocolate for Lent. I thought it was an obvious choice since we’ve had so much around the house. Except that I keep forgetting. Oops. It’s just hard, because giving up chocolate doesn’t feel meaningful. At all. I don’t know what would, though, this year.
