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May. 16th, 2002 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73“This ain’t nothin’ but a Heartbreak Town
Square people in a world that’s round
And they watch you dancein’
without the sound
It ain’t nothin,’ no, nothin’….
You take your numebr and you stand in line
And they watch to see how high you’re gonna climb
Pat on the back ‘n’ better luck next time
It ain’t nothin,’ no, nothin’ but a Heartbreak Town.
Stardust, well, it’s a funny thing
It can make you cuss
It can make you sing
And the need to touch it gets hard to explain some days.
I’ve seen ‘em rise
I’ve seen ‘em fall
Some get nothin’
And Lord, some get it all.
Some just run
While others crawl away.
Hold my hand, baby, don’t let go….
I’m gonna need you down this yellow brick road.”
Left for my lunch break at from work at 12:30, and as I’m walking out of the building (I have the car for this week while my mom carpools), Leslie’s in the office and stops me. Lets me know that she was just looking through my file, and she noticed that I never had my three references filled out last summer. I vaguely remember her giving my sheets to have filled out. I don’t remember any urgency to them; in fact, I don’t remember any imparity to them. The woman hired me on the spot, at my interview, last summer. I’d filled out the ‘previous employment’ section on the application, people Leslie could contact if she needed to. So now I need to get little sheets filled out (granted, they will take whoever does them five minutes each) by people I don’t see anymore. You know who I filled in, because they were my most recent employers? Oh, American Family Insurance, the people from the Pax nursery, and the Kruse family that I nannied for senior year. Kate from Pax shouldn’t be a problem. But the Kruses? We exchange (very) small talk at Easter and Christmas when we run into each other at mass. American Family? Um, haven’t talked to the accounting department in nearly two years, since I left. And now I am supposed to have them fill out reference sheets reassuring Children’s World that I will not molest or abuse children and that I have good attendance. I mean, that’s the gist of the paperwork, I think.
I really just hate formalities like this. Same with the social work department. They’re going to flipping accept me (they already have by letting me take classes, just like Children’s World already accepted me LAST summer and this PAST winter), so why do we have to do this? I think what I really hate is that I didn’t need to be told this today. The semester ended with me feeling like I could never catch up. That no matter how much studying I did, I still wasn’t up to speed with the work I should have done. That no matter how much I aced some tests, I always had application after application after little errand after little errand to take care of. It was never enough. That’s why I wanted to badly for the semester to be over, so I could finally be ON TOP of something for once- I had a job (two counting the nursery), I had a place to live (both for the summer and for next year), I had things under control. As if I didn’t have my social work application to worry about already and finding three references for that. Now I have to figure out Children’s World crap too, because I’m not about to call up American Family or Stacy Kruse. I’m just not. I hate formalities, and this is just stupid stuff. Mostly, it just wasn’t what I needed today. Halfway through the summer this would have been fine, or at least better. I thought summer was starting and I thought things were under control. I know that this is not as big of a deal as I am stressing it out to be, but god, it makes me mad. Is it too much to ask that I am ahead of the game for once in my life?
Square people in a world that’s round
And they watch you dancein’
without the sound
It ain’t nothin,’ no, nothin’….
You take your numebr and you stand in line
And they watch to see how high you’re gonna climb
Pat on the back ‘n’ better luck next time
It ain’t nothin,’ no, nothin’ but a Heartbreak Town.
Stardust, well, it’s a funny thing
It can make you cuss
It can make you sing
And the need to touch it gets hard to explain some days.
I’ve seen ‘em rise
I’ve seen ‘em fall
Some get nothin’
And Lord, some get it all.
Some just run
While others crawl away.
Hold my hand, baby, don’t let go….
I’m gonna need you down this yellow brick road.”
Left for my lunch break at from work at 12:30, and as I’m walking out of the building (I have the car for this week while my mom carpools), Leslie’s in the office and stops me. Lets me know that she was just looking through my file, and she noticed that I never had my three references filled out last summer. I vaguely remember her giving my sheets to have filled out. I don’t remember any urgency to them; in fact, I don’t remember any imparity to them. The woman hired me on the spot, at my interview, last summer. I’d filled out the ‘previous employment’ section on the application, people Leslie could contact if she needed to. So now I need to get little sheets filled out (granted, they will take whoever does them five minutes each) by people I don’t see anymore. You know who I filled in, because they were my most recent employers? Oh, American Family Insurance, the people from the Pax nursery, and the Kruse family that I nannied for senior year. Kate from Pax shouldn’t be a problem. But the Kruses? We exchange (very) small talk at Easter and Christmas when we run into each other at mass. American Family? Um, haven’t talked to the accounting department in nearly two years, since I left. And now I am supposed to have them fill out reference sheets reassuring Children’s World that I will not molest or abuse children and that I have good attendance. I mean, that’s the gist of the paperwork, I think.
I really just hate formalities like this. Same with the social work department. They’re going to flipping accept me (they already have by letting me take classes, just like Children’s World already accepted me LAST summer and this PAST winter), so why do we have to do this? I think what I really hate is that I didn’t need to be told this today. The semester ended with me feeling like I could never catch up. That no matter how much studying I did, I still wasn’t up to speed with the work I should have done. That no matter how much I aced some tests, I always had application after application after little errand after little errand to take care of. It was never enough. That’s why I wanted to badly for the semester to be over, so I could finally be ON TOP of something for once- I had a job (two counting the nursery), I had a place to live (both for the summer and for next year), I had things under control. As if I didn’t have my social work application to worry about already and finding three references for that. Now I have to figure out Children’s World crap too, because I’m not about to call up American Family or Stacy Kruse. I’m just not. I hate formalities, and this is just stupid stuff. Mostly, it just wasn’t what I needed today. Halfway through the summer this would have been fine, or at least better. I thought summer was starting and I thought things were under control. I know that this is not as big of a deal as I am stressing it out to be, but god, it makes me mad. Is it too much to ask that I am ahead of the game for once in my life?
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no subject
Date: 2002-05-17 06:56 am (UTC)Keep going, Terry. Eventually you'll get there.