OKC journals
Mar. 22nd, 2003 01:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73These are the journals I typed up in Oklahoma City on my service trip last week. Some of them may seem disjointed, jumpy, and unfinished, but that’s all right. They’re a taste of some of the thoughts that raced through my head over the week.
Saturday, March 8, 2003
My Wow, Wonder, and Whine of today:
Wonder: Where do the homeless of OKC, or anywhere, go? When there aren’t enough beds in the city, or in the area, where do people sleep? How does a person maintain her/his dignity when ‘deciding’ to sleep in a dumpster for the night? We didn’t even want to stand out there for 20 minutes, and people have to stay out for the night. For someone who wants to, or at least has an interest in, working with homeless people, I really don’t know anything practical. I don’t have a lot (or, any?) one-on-one contact with people who don’t have a place to live. Maybe I can get that this week, make some connections, meet people. I need to get out of my comfort zone, and I think this week will push me. I’m already out of my comfort zone here, which is another way of saying, uh, I’m kind of uncomfortable. That’s my whine, really. Not the being uncomfortable part, but the things that are making me uncomfortable. The main house is a mess, and there are pets (that poop and shed), and it smells like pets. I know everyone said not to go into this with expectations, but apparently I had some, because this is not what I expected. The Des Moines Catholic Worker was clean, and I never felt like taking a scissors to the beard or hair of any of the Workers there. But I like Bob, and I like being here, despite all appearances. That’s my wow. What at first seemed so cluttered and utterly messy is now becoming our home. We laid down some newspapers, took our shoes off outside the sleeping room, and got comfortable seeing the boys in their boxers, and now this room feels like our own.
We also had Bob take us around OKC to see his own rendition of social justice stations of the cross. I really like the idea, and I know it could happen in any city. One thing I noticed tonight while we were out was my own comfort level with praying as a group and/or out in public. And then my urge/itching to pray as a group before we went to bed. I liked the feeling.
I want to remember as we continue on our week something that I mentioned in reflection/prayer tonight. Whatever we gain and learn about ourselves is extra this week. Our purpose really is to serve, and I want us to remember that. Growing as individuals and as a group is wonderful, but we are here to serve, as well, and I don’t want to forget that. This is going to be a different, but very good, week, and I feel pretty blessed to be a part of it.
Monday, March 11, 2003
I think I’ve been realizing lately that I’m scared about what will happen after I’ve graduated and after I volunteer. Two years from now, I could be wrapping up on the segment of my life where I live in community. Um, what happens then? What happens when not only am I maybe going to have to find a job or the equivalent, but I’ll also have to find a different place to live? When I may only have a roommate or two instead of nearly a dozen? Community is not just where I live, but it’s how I live.
I guess it doesn’t make sense to me to have an entire apartment, or whatever, to myself, when I could be living there with others.
We talked a lot the other night in reflection about how not everyone is called to the Catholic Worker type of lifestyle. Part of me wonders if saying that is a cop-out. What if we are all called to this lifestyle? To live so simply that when it comes to the food in your house, you can’t differentiate more than half of it, whether it goes in the panty for the poor or whether it is ‘yours.’ Bob eats nearly always the same food that he distributes to the poor. That is a part of what solidarity is. But the point… are we all called to live a life of simplicity? Even if everyone isn’t, am I? How does someone live in community after college or intentional volunteering? How does someone live simply and not in community? Aren’t both important to me? Will one of those ideals change over the next two years? I’m just…. Apprehensive. I’m nervous about where God is calling me, how She is calling me to live and how to serve others. Ellen was reading some Romero excerpts, and the idea of doing God’s will was rephrased by him. He talks about being at God’s beck and call, and somehow, that sounds so different, so much more intense than simply doing God’s will or serving Her. What does that mean, what does that require?
There’s a lot more that happened on the trip, a lot more that inspired me. I think that the overall best part of it was seeing so many people living out a simple lifestyle as an everyday thing. It wasn’t just for a couple years; it was every single day. And that was inspiring. So often, the service and justice work I do around Creighton has the questions attached to it, “How can we bring what we’ve learned back to Creighton?” and “How can we get more Creighton students involved in this?” Being around these amazing people helped me think about how I am going to live not just in the next year and a half of my life, but over the next twenty, at least, years of my life. How am I going to bring these kinds of ideas into my life, my marriage, my children, my activities? I want to serve as a profession, but I want to do more than that. I want to incorporate ideas of sustainable living, an option for the poor, a general awareness, into my life outside of my career. And I’ve seen people do that now, and that helped make it seem even more possible. We met a couple with six kids who are raising their children with knowledge about the poor. We met a couple who rely entirely on wind and solar energy for their power supply (and their water comes only from their own well- the only utility they pay for it their telephone line). We met another couple who have four grown children, and they bring prayer into their lives and notice God working through and with them.
More discerning is needed for me to understand where my life is going to go.
And with that, I’m going to get some needed sleep now.
Saturday, March 8, 2003
My Wow, Wonder, and Whine of today:
Wonder: Where do the homeless of OKC, or anywhere, go? When there aren’t enough beds in the city, or in the area, where do people sleep? How does a person maintain her/his dignity when ‘deciding’ to sleep in a dumpster for the night? We didn’t even want to stand out there for 20 minutes, and people have to stay out for the night. For someone who wants to, or at least has an interest in, working with homeless people, I really don’t know anything practical. I don’t have a lot (or, any?) one-on-one contact with people who don’t have a place to live. Maybe I can get that this week, make some connections, meet people. I need to get out of my comfort zone, and I think this week will push me. I’m already out of my comfort zone here, which is another way of saying, uh, I’m kind of uncomfortable. That’s my whine, really. Not the being uncomfortable part, but the things that are making me uncomfortable. The main house is a mess, and there are pets (that poop and shed), and it smells like pets. I know everyone said not to go into this with expectations, but apparently I had some, because this is not what I expected. The Des Moines Catholic Worker was clean, and I never felt like taking a scissors to the beard or hair of any of the Workers there. But I like Bob, and I like being here, despite all appearances. That’s my wow. What at first seemed so cluttered and utterly messy is now becoming our home. We laid down some newspapers, took our shoes off outside the sleeping room, and got comfortable seeing the boys in their boxers, and now this room feels like our own.
We also had Bob take us around OKC to see his own rendition of social justice stations of the cross. I really like the idea, and I know it could happen in any city. One thing I noticed tonight while we were out was my own comfort level with praying as a group and/or out in public. And then my urge/itching to pray as a group before we went to bed. I liked the feeling.
I want to remember as we continue on our week something that I mentioned in reflection/prayer tonight. Whatever we gain and learn about ourselves is extra this week. Our purpose really is to serve, and I want us to remember that. Growing as individuals and as a group is wonderful, but we are here to serve, as well, and I don’t want to forget that. This is going to be a different, but very good, week, and I feel pretty blessed to be a part of it.
Monday, March 11, 2003
I think I’ve been realizing lately that I’m scared about what will happen after I’ve graduated and after I volunteer. Two years from now, I could be wrapping up on the segment of my life where I live in community. Um, what happens then? What happens when not only am I maybe going to have to find a job or the equivalent, but I’ll also have to find a different place to live? When I may only have a roommate or two instead of nearly a dozen? Community is not just where I live, but it’s how I live.
I guess it doesn’t make sense to me to have an entire apartment, or whatever, to myself, when I could be living there with others.
We talked a lot the other night in reflection about how not everyone is called to the Catholic Worker type of lifestyle. Part of me wonders if saying that is a cop-out. What if we are all called to this lifestyle? To live so simply that when it comes to the food in your house, you can’t differentiate more than half of it, whether it goes in the panty for the poor or whether it is ‘yours.’ Bob eats nearly always the same food that he distributes to the poor. That is a part of what solidarity is. But the point… are we all called to live a life of simplicity? Even if everyone isn’t, am I? How does someone live in community after college or intentional volunteering? How does someone live simply and not in community? Aren’t both important to me? Will one of those ideals change over the next two years? I’m just…. Apprehensive. I’m nervous about where God is calling me, how She is calling me to live and how to serve others. Ellen was reading some Romero excerpts, and the idea of doing God’s will was rephrased by him. He talks about being at God’s beck and call, and somehow, that sounds so different, so much more intense than simply doing God’s will or serving Her. What does that mean, what does that require?
There’s a lot more that happened on the trip, a lot more that inspired me. I think that the overall best part of it was seeing so many people living out a simple lifestyle as an everyday thing. It wasn’t just for a couple years; it was every single day. And that was inspiring. So often, the service and justice work I do around Creighton has the questions attached to it, “How can we bring what we’ve learned back to Creighton?” and “How can we get more Creighton students involved in this?” Being around these amazing people helped me think about how I am going to live not just in the next year and a half of my life, but over the next twenty, at least, years of my life. How am I going to bring these kinds of ideas into my life, my marriage, my children, my activities? I want to serve as a profession, but I want to do more than that. I want to incorporate ideas of sustainable living, an option for the poor, a general awareness, into my life outside of my career. And I’ve seen people do that now, and that helped make it seem even more possible. We met a couple with six kids who are raising their children with knowledge about the poor. We met a couple who rely entirely on wind and solar energy for their power supply (and their water comes only from their own well- the only utility they pay for it their telephone line). We met another couple who have four grown children, and they bring prayer into their lives and notice God working through and with them.
More discerning is needed for me to understand where my life is going to go.
And with that, I’m going to get some needed sleep now.
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community living
Date: 2003-03-22 10:03 am (UTC)remind me to tell you sometime about my parents when they first got married and the community they were involved in, it's a really cool story, but wayyyy too long to type here....in fact, i might have already told you at some point....i dont remember :)
see you tomorrow....and pretty much every day :)
Re: community living
Date: 2003-03-22 07:21 pm (UTC)i am going to try to remember to stop by the library and get your g and p notes tomorrow. and maybe i'll read the chapter before then... boo on studying!
see you tomorrow!
love and smiles,
~T