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terrypurple73I was going to read my theology homework tonight, but then other things came up. Primarily, that best friend of mine came over, and hell, she’s more important than theology any day. And I really had been reading statistics earlier this evening, too. But then I went to read theology, and it’s forty pages of El Salvador history, and I know that there is no way that will get read tonight. I have to get up early for statistics. So no theology tonight, hopefully tomorrow before I have the class. That will be okay. Tomorrow is going to be long, though- good, but long. I would run through my long day of everything, but that would bore you.
I’m struggling in my theology class, not in the homework, but in the content. I know that the material is good, and I trust that. I want to learn more about liberation theology, and that’s what the course focuses on. The readings have been good and interesting, and I’m sure I will post quotes from things at some point in the semester. But…. I think I’ve talked in here before about how I am scared that I am not going to stretch myself in my faith. I don’t really know how to do that. How do you make sure your relationship with God is more than just a one-way thing, more than just offering up intentions every other night? How do you bring church teachings into your everyday life, teachings you agree with, but that you aren’t sure you fully understand? I don’t think that even made sense. I guess part of it is that I feel a little snobby in my theology class. Dr. Kelly doesn’t have to convince me about some things, the way I think he needs to with some students. I LIKE the idea of a preferential option for the poor. I LIKE the idea of recognizing human dignity. And I agree with a chunk of the Catholic social teaching ideas. But I don’t want to speak up in class, partially because I don’t like a lot of my classmates, except for Vicky and another girl, because I think they all make a lot of stupid, unnecessary comments. And I guess I don’t feel like the class atmosphere is very centered on real, honest, brute discussion and questioning. Maybe I just need to talk about this stuff one-on-one. But I guess I feel like in an effort to not be a part of the annoying classmate comments, I make myself feel superior, as if I know all this stuff already, when I DON’T. What if I really don’t know anything more about it than anyone? What if some of this material doesn’t surprise half of the class, the way it doesn’t surprise me? Or am I just being an aloof snob, thinking that I know more, just because I happen to be into some social justice? I guess I am disappointed, because I wanted this class, NEEDED this class, to be challenging and to stimulate my thinking, to get my relationship with God going strong again. Again? Maybe just get it back to where God is in my life more than only at community prayers. But how does a person make sure she keeps recognizing God in her life, which seems to be a “micro” aspect of faith, while at the same time, act out the “macro” aspect as well, bringing some of these teachings, for example, into daily life and consciousness? I need something that will make me feel as if I am helping fulfill my relationship with God. I don’t need to continually be wishing for this relationship to magically appear. I am excited to go on the Prayer Retreat over Valentine’s weekend; I am really hoping to gain some clarification and understanding about things.
And hey, maybe I wouldn’t have a Valentine’s breakdown this year! Wouldn’t that be nice!
I’m struggling in my theology class, not in the homework, but in the content. I know that the material is good, and I trust that. I want to learn more about liberation theology, and that’s what the course focuses on. The readings have been good and interesting, and I’m sure I will post quotes from things at some point in the semester. But…. I think I’ve talked in here before about how I am scared that I am not going to stretch myself in my faith. I don’t really know how to do that. How do you make sure your relationship with God is more than just a one-way thing, more than just offering up intentions every other night? How do you bring church teachings into your everyday life, teachings you agree with, but that you aren’t sure you fully understand? I don’t think that even made sense. I guess part of it is that I feel a little snobby in my theology class. Dr. Kelly doesn’t have to convince me about some things, the way I think he needs to with some students. I LIKE the idea of a preferential option for the poor. I LIKE the idea of recognizing human dignity. And I agree with a chunk of the Catholic social teaching ideas. But I don’t want to speak up in class, partially because I don’t like a lot of my classmates, except for Vicky and another girl, because I think they all make a lot of stupid, unnecessary comments. And I guess I don’t feel like the class atmosphere is very centered on real, honest, brute discussion and questioning. Maybe I just need to talk about this stuff one-on-one. But I guess I feel like in an effort to not be a part of the annoying classmate comments, I make myself feel superior, as if I know all this stuff already, when I DON’T. What if I really don’t know anything more about it than anyone? What if some of this material doesn’t surprise half of the class, the way it doesn’t surprise me? Or am I just being an aloof snob, thinking that I know more, just because I happen to be into some social justice? I guess I am disappointed, because I wanted this class, NEEDED this class, to be challenging and to stimulate my thinking, to get my relationship with God going strong again. Again? Maybe just get it back to where God is in my life more than only at community prayers. But how does a person make sure she keeps recognizing God in her life, which seems to be a “micro” aspect of faith, while at the same time, act out the “macro” aspect as well, bringing some of these teachings, for example, into daily life and consciousness? I need something that will make me feel as if I am helping fulfill my relationship with God. I don’t need to continually be wishing for this relationship to magically appear. I am excited to go on the Prayer Retreat over Valentine’s weekend; I am really hoping to gain some clarification and understanding about things.
And hey, maybe I wouldn’t have a Valentine’s breakdown this year! Wouldn’t that be nice!
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Date: 2003-01-31 02:13 pm (UTC)remember that girl who came to take pictures of you and your roommates the other night? yeah, that's me.
i wanted to ask one question about your community.... where can you get the applications?
and hi, because you were all quite nice.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-31 10:02 pm (UTC)glad you found me, and thanks for taking a good pic of us!
~Theresa