(no subject)

Shortly after declaring that it was too snowy to go downtown to see the Dayton’s/Macy’s Mary Poppins display, my family decided to go to the movies instead. So my mom, Cathy, and I went to go see that new Will Smith movie, “The Pursuit of Happyness.” I didn’t really expect to like it, because even though I knew it was based on a true story, I expected to be offended by it. I thought it was going to be some “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” theme, which I can’t stomach. I mean, I know that changing your life situation requires work in any case, but I also know that there are a lot of circumstances that are a result of imposed poverty. So the story of a man who was off-and-on homeless with his son while he tried to make it in the business world is sure to be an inspiring story, but.... I wasn’t sure what to expect going in to it. I liked it, is the point of my movie critique, but it definitely had me in tears. So I couldn’t talk on the drive home through the snow, because I knew I’d start bawling about the unfairness of it all. I mean, this is the happy ending story. This is the story where Will Smith’s character makes a million dollars and they’re not homeless any more. This is the story of one of my moms at work, who works a minimum wage daycare job, just got settled into a two-year transitional housing program, whose oldest son and daughter are both in and out of the mental health hospital, whose younger two girls go to daycare where mom works, the family who just got adopted through Catholic Charities Adopt-A-Family by the staff of a fancy hotel downtown, so they get to spend Christmas Eve in a hotel suite with room service, in addition to their Christmas presents. These are the happy endings. The movie makes me cry for the steps this family is taking toward feeling settled in their lives. And the movie makes me cry for the families that don’t get the job, who get kicked out of the shelter, who make a poor decision that wrecks things for them. I was furious at work the other night (and I still am) at the on-and-off-again boyfriend of one of our former moms. She was our shining star, the example of someone who had it all going for her, as much as you can have it all going for you in a homeless shelter. She’d been accepted at several housing programs, just had to wait for an opening. She had a supportive mentoring team from a local church who provided her with baby items and rent assistance. She was going back to school, and had just given birth to a wonderful baby girl. This boyfriend was the only thing that was noticeably unsettled in her life. It was an awkward relationship- he had money, she obviously didn’t, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be a part of her and the baby’s lives, but sometimes he wanted to be.... She chose to move in with him, turning down her other housing options to try to make the whole family work together. That lasted about six weeks. We got a call from her a few days ago; he was dropping her off at another homeless shelter. Could we please forward her mail there? I’m so furious with him. Dropping off your girlfriend and daughter at A FUCKING HOMELESS SHELTER and then DRIVING AWAY. I’m sorry for the offensiveness of this, but men can be real assholes sometimes. This woman is amazing and has the sun shining out of her. She has a true sense of work ethic, of love, of hospitality, of humility, of what it means to take care of her own and those around her. This man does not deserve to be with her, and she doesn’t deserve to be with him, but damn it! So when Will Smith and his son didn’t get into the shelter one night, I started crying in the movie theater, because they’re one of so many that need to start their lives over again, every single day. How do you go from homeless to nearly housed to homeless again in a matter of months? Especially when the only thing you did wrong was believe someone when he said he’d take care of you.
I guess what I liked about the story is that it showed the trueness of what this situation can look like. It looks like dumb decisions sometimes, and it looks like circumstances beyond your control, and it looks like societal pressure to pay for things you can’t afford, and it looks like a man and his son crying when the shelter is full for the night. The movie showed some truth that not enough people see in our world. Or rather, that too many people see in our world, but the people in power don’t.
So as lucky and blessed as I am to see the happy endings, it gets hard to see the unhappy continuations, too. No one deserves to be homeless. Tonight in Denver is the annual memorial service for people who have died on the streets in the past year. I wish badly that I could be there for that, blizzard in Denver or not.