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Sep. 13th, 2003 10:38 pmIt's not as if it's been nearly two weeks since any of you heard from me. I don't know what you're talking about.
Since I last let the journaling flow, I suppose plenty has happened. Mostly, I've spent the vast majority of this weekend flirting with the boy I like. (Man, it stinks to have to go on retreats with the boy I have a crush on.) And then tonight I talked to Shannon for the first time since I've been back in Omaha. It doesn't matter whether we talk every few days or not for a month, we always have a few hours of talking to get in, and that was important. We confirmed that we both intend to make physical journeys this semester- me to New York for my fall break, and her to Georgia and then to Omaha for the SOA stuff in November. It felt good to have that said in a way that seems official, not in cross-your-fingers-kinds-of-plans. I also spent the weekend being a social worker dork, laughing every time one of my co-workers on our staff retreat would use social work terminology, like "empowerment." And then I might have been a little forward in my flirting. Oh well. I'm being all dorky and giggly, but I like it. :)
And I'm loving being at practicum. I haven't even done a lot of "real" 'social worker' types of things, a lot of observation and manual reading, mostly, but I like it a lot. I believe I'm going to do good things this year, and I think that the staff I'm working with are going to help me make that happen. I was explaining to some people at the retreat last night that I sort of feel like I am pessimistically waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if something has to go wrong sooner or later. But for now, really, things are going really well. There are challenges, and I also know that the schoolwork and the activities for the year have not kicked into full gear by any means yet, but things still feel remarkably stable for the time being. I like my classes, I like being at the Salvation Army, I like being back with the CCSJ, I'm getting excited for the SOA stuff already, I love Community, and I'm even seeing my friends when we can fit each other in. And I don't say that things are perfect, and I don't say things to be braggy; I think I mostly mean that I am happy, and I've felt like things have fallen into place. I've felt like this for the past threeish weeks. And this is different for me. I usually do a fair amount of turmoil, and I don’t necessarily know how to be when things are going smoothly.
Part of what I’m so pleased about is the fact that I am actually enjoying being in my classes this semester. Even though I don’t enjoy the class time of my social policy class, I think I know what I’m going to do my project on, and that has the potential to fascinate me. I think I want to research the barriers that people face when they have a criminal background, especially the barriers in housing. Word has it that if you have a felony on your record, you aren’t eligible for Section 8 (government subsidized) housing. I can’t begin to elaborate on how helpful I’m sure that is for people with criminal backgrounds looking for housing. Man, I bet that helps a lot. What does help is that I am interested in learning about it, and how I am excited to be able to combine my practicum and my policy class. But I do really enjoy being at Salvation Army. There’ve been enough times already that have made me take a mental step back, feeling overwhelmed by what I’m reading and what it means. The first case file I read was for a resident who was getting ready to leave the transitional housing program I’m working with. The woman has two kids (4 years old and nine months old), and it’s her first time being homeless. She’s 24. Twenty-four. That’s only three years older than I am. I wouldn’t know how to be a mom at age 24, but I suppose I could handle it. But I really wouldn’t know how to be homeless at 24. Three years from now, I don’t imagine being a mom, but I especially don’t imagine being homeless. This was all in the first page of the file, and it shook me up enough. …. Yes. I’m going to end up doing some case management for residents in the program, which I think will be good for me. I know I need to work on the micro aspects of social work. It feels like I am going to be able to do both micro and macro this year, at the same agency, in the same program. I need that. I need to see an intersection of the two. I think that I will enjoy both, and for once, I’m not feeling the tension between the two. It’s always seemed like such a dichotomy to me, that I need to choose almost which side to take in the social work field. No one has explained to me yet how the two can be intertwined.
I’m also taking a social work with groups class, which I like a lot, mostly because of my teacher, since I always leave his classes feeling that I have concrete knowledge to use in my life and my practice. And I’m taking my senior perspective class, which I really like as well. It’s an English class (for the girl who was a closet English major in high school) called “Literacy and Community: Reading and Writing Toward Social Change.” First of all, if you put the term ‘social change’ in a course title, I’m going to take interest. There’s also a service-learning component to the class; we get to do service work at a local literacy center. The class seems to bring together social work, sociology, education, and English all into one course- could you think of a better combination for me?
Basically, I’m happy these days. That’s what it comes down to. Maybe it’s just nice that life seems easy to live these days. I can be active and involved, but as of yet, that doesn’t mean burn out. Even though I went to bed at 10:00 on Thursday night…. :)
Since I last let the journaling flow, I suppose plenty has happened. Mostly, I've spent the vast majority of this weekend flirting with the boy I like. (Man, it stinks to have to go on retreats with the boy I have a crush on.) And then tonight I talked to Shannon for the first time since I've been back in Omaha. It doesn't matter whether we talk every few days or not for a month, we always have a few hours of talking to get in, and that was important. We confirmed that we both intend to make physical journeys this semester- me to New York for my fall break, and her to Georgia and then to Omaha for the SOA stuff in November. It felt good to have that said in a way that seems official, not in cross-your-fingers-kinds-of-plans. I also spent the weekend being a social worker dork, laughing every time one of my co-workers on our staff retreat would use social work terminology, like "empowerment." And then I might have been a little forward in my flirting. Oh well. I'm being all dorky and giggly, but I like it. :)
And I'm loving being at practicum. I haven't even done a lot of "real" 'social worker' types of things, a lot of observation and manual reading, mostly, but I like it a lot. I believe I'm going to do good things this year, and I think that the staff I'm working with are going to help me make that happen. I was explaining to some people at the retreat last night that I sort of feel like I am pessimistically waiting for the other shoe to drop, as if something has to go wrong sooner or later. But for now, really, things are going really well. There are challenges, and I also know that the schoolwork and the activities for the year have not kicked into full gear by any means yet, but things still feel remarkably stable for the time being. I like my classes, I like being at the Salvation Army, I like being back with the CCSJ, I'm getting excited for the SOA stuff already, I love Community, and I'm even seeing my friends when we can fit each other in. And I don't say that things are perfect, and I don't say things to be braggy; I think I mostly mean that I am happy, and I've felt like things have fallen into place. I've felt like this for the past threeish weeks. And this is different for me. I usually do a fair amount of turmoil, and I don’t necessarily know how to be when things are going smoothly.
Part of what I’m so pleased about is the fact that I am actually enjoying being in my classes this semester. Even though I don’t enjoy the class time of my social policy class, I think I know what I’m going to do my project on, and that has the potential to fascinate me. I think I want to research the barriers that people face when they have a criminal background, especially the barriers in housing. Word has it that if you have a felony on your record, you aren’t eligible for Section 8 (government subsidized) housing. I can’t begin to elaborate on how helpful I’m sure that is for people with criminal backgrounds looking for housing. Man, I bet that helps a lot. What does help is that I am interested in learning about it, and how I am excited to be able to combine my practicum and my policy class. But I do really enjoy being at Salvation Army. There’ve been enough times already that have made me take a mental step back, feeling overwhelmed by what I’m reading and what it means. The first case file I read was for a resident who was getting ready to leave the transitional housing program I’m working with. The woman has two kids (4 years old and nine months old), and it’s her first time being homeless. She’s 24. Twenty-four. That’s only three years older than I am. I wouldn’t know how to be a mom at age 24, but I suppose I could handle it. But I really wouldn’t know how to be homeless at 24. Three years from now, I don’t imagine being a mom, but I especially don’t imagine being homeless. This was all in the first page of the file, and it shook me up enough. …. Yes. I’m going to end up doing some case management for residents in the program, which I think will be good for me. I know I need to work on the micro aspects of social work. It feels like I am going to be able to do both micro and macro this year, at the same agency, in the same program. I need that. I need to see an intersection of the two. I think that I will enjoy both, and for once, I’m not feeling the tension between the two. It’s always seemed like such a dichotomy to me, that I need to choose almost which side to take in the social work field. No one has explained to me yet how the two can be intertwined.
I’m also taking a social work with groups class, which I like a lot, mostly because of my teacher, since I always leave his classes feeling that I have concrete knowledge to use in my life and my practice. And I’m taking my senior perspective class, which I really like as well. It’s an English class (for the girl who was a closet English major in high school) called “Literacy and Community: Reading and Writing Toward Social Change.” First of all, if you put the term ‘social change’ in a course title, I’m going to take interest. There’s also a service-learning component to the class; we get to do service work at a local literacy center. The class seems to bring together social work, sociology, education, and English all into one course- could you think of a better combination for me?
Basically, I’m happy these days. That’s what it comes down to. Maybe it’s just nice that life seems easy to live these days. I can be active and involved, but as of yet, that doesn’t mean burn out. Even though I went to bed at 10:00 on Thursday night…. :)
