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Nov. 11th, 2002 06:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73I’ve been thinking more about this whole Eric thing, and I’ve been able to put into a few words how this makes me so sad. A few people know I’ve felt that if I wasn’t living with Eric, I could see myself having a thing for him. But when I think about it, I would rather live with him than date him. Given the option, I would rather have him here in the community than even have a crush on him. He keeps the Community level, on track.
We had CLC this morning (my group is me, Peter, Eric, and Mary) as we do every Monday at 8 am. I was really, really quiet today. I just didn’t have much I wanted to talk about. Part of that was because Eric, KP, and I talked about a lot of things on our minds (okay, on my mind and KP’s mind) late last night, so I didn’t have a lot of new things to say. I wasn’t feeling like projecting a lot of energy this morning. Think I knew that I would probably get some tears going if I talked too much. And that’s okay that I didn’t talk much, since those three said a lot, and it wasn’t awkward (for me at least) that I wasn’t feeling very talkative. I went back to my house about 9:15, called the plumber, put my morning’s decision into action: I was taking a personal day, and I was going back to sleep. So I laid down on the couch and only got woken up a few times before I got back up at one. KP took a personal day too, and slept even more than I did. But I got up, and went in to work at the CCSJ for a few hours. And now I might eat dinner, and Vicky will come over for a bit, and Mana will come over later after her night class. It’s been quite the day….
I guess I have a hard time dealing with people choosing to leave. I mean, who doesn’t, but…. I dealt with it at this time last year when Campfire Kathy quit the program, and then Deb left Creighton last spring, and now Eric is moving out…. I don’t feel sad that they are rejecting me, but I’m sad that they decide to switch the path they are on, even though they know I’m on a different one. I don’t feel like that made sense. It made a lot more sense when I was wording it together in my mind.
We had CLC this morning (my group is me, Peter, Eric, and Mary) as we do every Monday at 8 am. I was really, really quiet today. I just didn’t have much I wanted to talk about. Part of that was because Eric, KP, and I talked about a lot of things on our minds (okay, on my mind and KP’s mind) late last night, so I didn’t have a lot of new things to say. I wasn’t feeling like projecting a lot of energy this morning. Think I knew that I would probably get some tears going if I talked too much. And that’s okay that I didn’t talk much, since those three said a lot, and it wasn’t awkward (for me at least) that I wasn’t feeling very talkative. I went back to my house about 9:15, called the plumber, put my morning’s decision into action: I was taking a personal day, and I was going back to sleep. So I laid down on the couch and only got woken up a few times before I got back up at one. KP took a personal day too, and slept even more than I did. But I got up, and went in to work at the CCSJ for a few hours. And now I might eat dinner, and Vicky will come over for a bit, and Mana will come over later after her night class. It’s been quite the day….
I guess I have a hard time dealing with people choosing to leave. I mean, who doesn’t, but…. I dealt with it at this time last year when Campfire Kathy quit the program, and then Deb left Creighton last spring, and now Eric is moving out…. I don’t feel sad that they are rejecting me, but I’m sad that they decide to switch the path they are on, even though they know I’m on a different one. I don’t feel like that made sense. It made a lot more sense when I was wording it together in my mind.
