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Nov. 6th, 2013 11:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73Things our new CEO who has no social service experience does not think about:
See, he thinks the process is:
1- Visit Catholic Charities Childcare Center
2- Notice small child hide from him, a man
3- Decide we need more male volunteers so that children are not afraid of men
4- Put an article in the Denver Catholic Register asking men to volunteer for these "Special Ops"
5- Now our children are not afraid of men
Actually, the process goes more like this:
4- Put an article in the Denver Catholic Register, without consulting with individual volunteer coordinators to find out our needs or concerns (though he did talk with the volunteer coordinator at the main office, just not the rest of us)
5- Theresa receives orders to bring in more male volunteers
6- Luckily, Theresa has some volunteer slots to fill, luckily for positions working with children, and starts bringing in more male volunteers, who keep getting sent her way
7- Theresa tries to assure residents and volunteers that this is a safe place
8- Still have a mom tell the male volunteer tonight that no man is allowed to watch her baby
9- Children may now trust men
10- But moms still don't
11- And Theresa has to do the navigating of dealing with the client and the volunteer, both of whom feel betrayed and unsafe.
12- CEO does not have to do that part.
It's a tough situation. I do what I can on my end- meet with volunteers, talk about ways to get involved, get a feel for how they are, screen out the ones who I don't want working with clients (usually because they're painfully socially awkward), do background checks and reference checks, require the Protecting God's Children training- all those things get done. Sometimes the PGC and the reference checks are still happening before a person volunteers, but they get done. And I talk talk talk with volunteers about the traumas our families have often experienced, and I make sure that no one, but especially men, are closed up with a child in a room with the door shut. So I do what I can on my end. And the mom is doing what she can on her end- she is working hard to protect her child, likely especially because she was not protected when she was young. And I wouldn't ever force a mom to betray her gut in a situation like this. But what do I do with this? It hasn't happened in about five years, a mom with this strong of a response, and for that mom, her child was young enough that she could bring him with her to the evening group. But this mom has a two-year-old- a really active one. And I can tell him that since this mom is sensitive to this, that he shouldn't have the girl too close to him. But that brings up safety things- what if all the moms said this? I can't watch all the kids by myself- that's why we have volunteers- I can't be everywhere at once, or the only one who can hold kids. But I also don't want to force this mom to do something she's clearly uncomfortable with, based on her own history. (For the record, I don't believe the volunteer was doing anything inappropriate. I didn't see exactly how he was holding her when the mom came out, but I don't believe it was anything wrong. And she never said it was- she just said that she didn't want a man watching her child.) So I don't want to fire my volunteer, or force her into doing something, and I don't know where to go with it. I talked with the volunteer (and the mom too of course), and we're going to talk in a few days about if this is the position he wants to stick with, or if he wants to switch to another volunteer position. I don't know.
It's just so frustrating to be told that this is who I need to bring on board, when Larry clearly doesn't have any idea about the repercussions of how the process goes and how tough it will be in the middle.
See, he thinks the process is:
1- Visit Catholic Charities Childcare Center
2- Notice small child hide from him, a man
3- Decide we need more male volunteers so that children are not afraid of men
4- Put an article in the Denver Catholic Register asking men to volunteer for these "Special Ops"
5- Now our children are not afraid of men
Actually, the process goes more like this:
4- Put an article in the Denver Catholic Register, without consulting with individual volunteer coordinators to find out our needs or concerns (though he did talk with the volunteer coordinator at the main office, just not the rest of us)
5- Theresa receives orders to bring in more male volunteers
6- Luckily, Theresa has some volunteer slots to fill, luckily for positions working with children, and starts bringing in more male volunteers, who keep getting sent her way
7- Theresa tries to assure residents and volunteers that this is a safe place
8- Still have a mom tell the male volunteer tonight that no man is allowed to watch her baby
9- Children may now trust men
10- But moms still don't
11- And Theresa has to do the navigating of dealing with the client and the volunteer, both of whom feel betrayed and unsafe.
12- CEO does not have to do that part.
It's a tough situation. I do what I can on my end- meet with volunteers, talk about ways to get involved, get a feel for how they are, screen out the ones who I don't want working with clients (usually because they're painfully socially awkward), do background checks and reference checks, require the Protecting God's Children training- all those things get done. Sometimes the PGC and the reference checks are still happening before a person volunteers, but they get done. And I talk talk talk with volunteers about the traumas our families have often experienced, and I make sure that no one, but especially men, are closed up with a child in a room with the door shut. So I do what I can on my end. And the mom is doing what she can on her end- she is working hard to protect her child, likely especially because she was not protected when she was young. And I wouldn't ever force a mom to betray her gut in a situation like this. But what do I do with this? It hasn't happened in about five years, a mom with this strong of a response, and for that mom, her child was young enough that she could bring him with her to the evening group. But this mom has a two-year-old- a really active one. And I can tell him that since this mom is sensitive to this, that he shouldn't have the girl too close to him. But that brings up safety things- what if all the moms said this? I can't watch all the kids by myself- that's why we have volunteers- I can't be everywhere at once, or the only one who can hold kids. But I also don't want to force this mom to do something she's clearly uncomfortable with, based on her own history. (For the record, I don't believe the volunteer was doing anything inappropriate. I didn't see exactly how he was holding her when the mom came out, but I don't believe it was anything wrong. And she never said it was- she just said that she didn't want a man watching her child.) So I don't want to fire my volunteer, or force her into doing something, and I don't know where to go with it. I talked with the volunteer (and the mom too of course), and we're going to talk in a few days about if this is the position he wants to stick with, or if he wants to switch to another volunteer position. I don't know.
It's just so frustrating to be told that this is who I need to bring on board, when Larry clearly doesn't have any idea about the repercussions of how the process goes and how tough it will be in the middle.
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no subject
Date: 2013-11-08 01:28 am (UTC)That's a really sucky position to be in. I would be incredibly frustrated and angry if I were in your shoes. I'm sorry.