terrypurple73 | (no subject)

I can't wait for the holidays to be over. It's ridiculous how stressed I am at work, and it's just not making it any fun to prepare for Christmas in my regular life. It is a little fun, but not as much as I wish it was. I've been sleeping like shit for a while now (I really should try to remember how long, but I think it's been most of the time since we've lived in this house, so a few months), and it's gotten worse. When I said on Facebook how glad I was to sleep through the night, I really meant it. I keep waking up around 6:00, dying of heat, and feeling stressed about work/church/etc stuff I need to do. I know I used to wake up at the old house with hot flashes, but it was occasional, and so I attributed it to something with my birth control, and I didn't care too much. But now, even on nights when I go to bed with freezing feet and snuggled up to my wonderful radiator named Joe, I keep waking up sweating. This morning was especially bad- I woke up about 2:45, and we'd gone to bed at maybe 12:30. I was awake for probably an hour, sweating and miserable and freaking out about work stuff that isn't even anything to freak out about. It's fine, actually. Things are coming together at work, and the things that aren't done yet can wait until, you know, I go into work to take care of them. I keep thinking it will get better after the holidays are over, and I sure as hell hope it does. Because I'm so tired of this sleep crap, and I'm crabby about all the damn do-gooders who want to do good things at work. I know I shouldn't be crabby at them for wanting to do actually helpful things, but I'm tired of dealing with them anyway. Part of it is frustration with a co-worker. She took over Gaelyn's position, and honestly, she's just not as good as Gaelyn was at it. She has some strenghs that Gaelyn didn't have, but overall, she just can't handle the workload very well. Maybe I'm not one to talk about not handling a workload. But especially around Thanksgiving, my workload felt like it doubled because I was doing her job. And while Gaelyn and I worked together to help each other out, I shouldn't have to take on this much of Christina's job. Wendy knows at least, and she understands and isn't putting crazy pressure on me. But it's hard to talk to Christina about doing more of her job because 1) she's always, even not during the holidays, exuding this huge amount of stress that deters me from asking any more of her than I absolutely need her to do, and 2) I don't trust her to do it to my standards- I'd rather have it go wrong on my terms than on hers. That's a personal problem I have, I suppose. (I was always like that, though- I'm not even a perfectionist, but group project in middle/high school always drove me crazy because I either didn't trust my group to do a good job, or I didn't want them to get mad at me when I procrastinated. I'd rather work alone on those projects any day.)
Anyway, the point is that in a week, Christmas will be over. I'll be thankful and thirty. And hopefully asleep every night. Until the retreat in February that I promised to plan eats me alive.