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Sep. 23rd, 2009 09:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73The rest of the roomie thoughts….
One of the new guys came to see the house yesterday with Adrienne. He decided it seems like a good fit, and asked Adrienne, “Can I move in tonight?” Adrienne called me at work to ask me, and without a second’s thought, I said NO. I trust Adrienne’s judgment that he’s a good guy and would fit well with us. But it’s definitely my experience working shelter that says NO, we need to wait a few days. It’s not just that I want to meet him first. The other guy met Adrienne on Monday and is interested and asked about the lease application, etc, and I didn’t bat an eye at him being essentially accepted into the group. But when someone wants to move in tonight, there’s a sense of their necessity speaking, and my experience has told me that people will twist their story- background, goals, desires- to get their needs met sooner. It makes sense. I do it in small ways in my own life. But at work, we have an intake process ands no one moves in the day of their face-to-face intake. We’re not a shelter for people in immediate crisis- the I-need-a-place-to-stay-tonight-yes-I-know-it’s-eleven-o’clock-at-night-now folks. We’ve done a few of those, and they’ve turned out badly. So I’m wary and cautious about someone doing what feels like the equivalent at my own house, especially when I’ll be signing a legal lease with them. It sounds like he’s couch-surfing, so I understand that he wants to get settled as quick as he can. I’m going to probably meet up with him Friday evening, which is about the next block of time I have free. I was feeling kind of guilty last night that I’m not letting him move in quicker, but then I thought, “It is not my fault he’s couch-surfing. It is not my fault that my schedule is busy. And it’s actually the responsible thing to do to meet someone before he starts moving in.” I don’t feel nearly as bad this morning about it. I’ll give him a call soon- he’s just left a message on my machine so far.
Other housing thoughts…. I feel like I’ve had some rough emotional patches this last month and a half living on my own. It turns out that living by myself hasn’t really been bad, as I’ve said before- I’ve settled into some routines pretty easily, and it’s more comfortable that I’d thought it would be. And maybe it’s just the PMS this month and last that got me pretty emotional, but it’s been a while since I noticed my emotions run that wild, it feels like. I think my roller coaster of emotions has been a little steeper recently, and my guess is that it’s connected to the lack of roommates. It seems like maybe having my support system in the house keeps my emotions in check. Supportive roomies obviously give me shoulders to cry on when I am weepy.
One of the new guys came to see the house yesterday with Adrienne. He decided it seems like a good fit, and asked Adrienne, “Can I move in tonight?” Adrienne called me at work to ask me, and without a second’s thought, I said NO. I trust Adrienne’s judgment that he’s a good guy and would fit well with us. But it’s definitely my experience working shelter that says NO, we need to wait a few days. It’s not just that I want to meet him first. The other guy met Adrienne on Monday and is interested and asked about the lease application, etc, and I didn’t bat an eye at him being essentially accepted into the group. But when someone wants to move in tonight, there’s a sense of their necessity speaking, and my experience has told me that people will twist their story- background, goals, desires- to get their needs met sooner. It makes sense. I do it in small ways in my own life. But at work, we have an intake process ands no one moves in the day of their face-to-face intake. We’re not a shelter for people in immediate crisis- the I-need-a-place-to-stay-tonight-yes-I-know-it’s-eleven-o’clock-at-night-now folks. We’ve done a few of those, and they’ve turned out badly. So I’m wary and cautious about someone doing what feels like the equivalent at my own house, especially when I’ll be signing a legal lease with them. It sounds like he’s couch-surfing, so I understand that he wants to get settled as quick as he can. I’m going to probably meet up with him Friday evening, which is about the next block of time I have free. I was feeling kind of guilty last night that I’m not letting him move in quicker, but then I thought, “It is not my fault he’s couch-surfing. It is not my fault that my schedule is busy. And it’s actually the responsible thing to do to meet someone before he starts moving in.” I don’t feel nearly as bad this morning about it. I’ll give him a call soon- he’s just left a message on my machine so far.
Other housing thoughts…. I feel like I’ve had some rough emotional patches this last month and a half living on my own. It turns out that living by myself hasn’t really been bad, as I’ve said before- I’ve settled into some routines pretty easily, and it’s more comfortable that I’d thought it would be. And maybe it’s just the PMS this month and last that got me pretty emotional, but it’s been a while since I noticed my emotions run that wild, it feels like. I think my roller coaster of emotions has been a little steeper recently, and my guess is that it’s connected to the lack of roommates. It seems like maybe having my support system in the house keeps my emotions in check. Supportive roomies obviously give me shoulders to cry on when I am weepy.
