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Sep. 22nd, 2009 11:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrypurple73I’m totally PMSing, and I know that we are all feeling lost in our own tough times right now. I wish I could hug everybody. And that my nearests and dearests all lived in the same city as I do.
1. Why is it so fucking cold? It’s only September, people. We don’t need to have the threat of snow yet, no matter how much I love winter. It’s not even really fall yet.
2. I’m so grateful for Adrienne (new roomie-to-be) and all the work she’s doing on finding replacement roommates for Bennett. It looks like we’ll have two new folks, plus her, Sarah, and I. This is good. But it’s still a lot to coordinate, and I just wish it was settled all ready. I’m looking forward to living with people again, but I wish that this last week of solo-ness was going more smoothly. I wish I knew who was moving in and what they’re about. I trust Adrienne, but it makes me feel a little out of control, and I’m used to being the matriarch of the house. And I wish this wasn’t all so last-minute. Bennett didn’t give us much time to prepare and now it’s all whirlwinding, and I want it all to slow down.
3. One of the Salad Queens, the group of wonderful ladies who come once or twice a month to the Soup Kitchen, had a stroke a few months ago, and she died last week. Another one of the women had a heard attack last week. It’s all so sad. Ginny’s stroke was so sudden, and she never really regained much of her life afterwards- she couldn’t see or barely talk. A few weeks after it happened, I guess she had some moments of being lucid, and asked if it was Wednesday- soup kitchen day. And Lib- I would have expected her husband’s health to fail before hers, honestly. I guess she’s at home recuperating. They’re such neat people- they’ve been with the soup kitchen for years, and her husband actually won the Channel Nine People Who Care award a year or so ago- film crew at the church and everything. I wish I could go to Soup Kitchen tomorrow just to be with everyone, or that I could go to the funeral tomorrow morning, but I have a major work meeting that I really can’t miss.
4. This week is one of the few times I wish I had a car and/or a cell phone. It would have helped me get in touch with someone for work stuff today and it could have helped me get to either the funeral or Soup Kitchen tomorrow before the meeting. You know things are bad when I wish these things.
5. This work conference is going to be awesome, but the tasks are piling up, and I hope I’m up to it. Dana (our state coordinator) is absolutely wonderful- makes me feel like I am a capable person with leadership and organizational skills who is on top of things, instead of like the unsure, tentative, behind-schedule person I keep feeling like. Tomorrow’s meeting should be good and productive, and the conference call Thursday with the national leadership should clarify even more things. Maybe tomorrow I can even delegate things, and find out what it is that I need to delegate.
6. Work tonight was crazy. The most stressful time of the year at the shelter for me is not Christmas, but the time of year when it gets too cold and too dark to take the kiddos outside at night. They don’t know how to handle themselves inside, and I don’t know how to handle them. Tonight was insane.
7. I haven’t really slept in since…. Monday last week? And I won’t until…. Saturday? This is why today, as a Tuesday, feels so ridiculously much later in the week. The preschool is going well (aside from getting hit in the face yesterday by someone who is apparently my new best friend today), but I was there three days last week, plus yesterday and today, and likely a few hours Thursday. Friday is early work again, and then Saturday will be glorious for sleeping. Not that last weekend had bad reasons for waking up- my mom was in town, and it was really good to have her here. It’s so nice to know that we can just spend time together without having to entertain each other in major ways. We like each other’s company, and can just sit around my living room talking. Plus we went to the movies, the Botanic Gardens, and out to eat a lot. And she got to stay at my house as a guest, which she hadn’t done before. So there were great times. It’s just that I’m exhausted.
8. Sylv told me that Christian won’t be coming to her wedding in October. I’m not glad, and I’m not upset, and I’m glad to know one way or the other. It’s just got me thinking. I’d suspected that he wouldn’t make it out here for it. And I’m also pretty damn sure that really, I will never see him again. Sylv’s wedding is the only thing that could feasibly brought us to the same place, so….. As I’ve said before, it’s weird to have this much closure with an ex-boyfriend. It’s not about closure in terms of the end of the relationship, because I’ve always had that closure. But it’s about, I don’t know….. It’s just weird. That’s as insightful as I can get right now.
9. I am out of Wheat Thins and it is too cold to eat frozen raspberry yogurt. And all my warm pajamas smell like plastic storage bin. These are clearly not traumatic or thought-provoking, just bothersome in my hormonal and temperature state.
10. Time for bed, people. I’m tired and I’m weepy.
1. Why is it so fucking cold? It’s only September, people. We don’t need to have the threat of snow yet, no matter how much I love winter. It’s not even really fall yet.
2. I’m so grateful for Adrienne (new roomie-to-be) and all the work she’s doing on finding replacement roommates for Bennett. It looks like we’ll have two new folks, plus her, Sarah, and I. This is good. But it’s still a lot to coordinate, and I just wish it was settled all ready. I’m looking forward to living with people again, but I wish that this last week of solo-ness was going more smoothly. I wish I knew who was moving in and what they’re about. I trust Adrienne, but it makes me feel a little out of control, and I’m used to being the matriarch of the house. And I wish this wasn’t all so last-minute. Bennett didn’t give us much time to prepare and now it’s all whirlwinding, and I want it all to slow down.
3. One of the Salad Queens, the group of wonderful ladies who come once or twice a month to the Soup Kitchen, had a stroke a few months ago, and she died last week. Another one of the women had a heard attack last week. It’s all so sad. Ginny’s stroke was so sudden, and she never really regained much of her life afterwards- she couldn’t see or barely talk. A few weeks after it happened, I guess she had some moments of being lucid, and asked if it was Wednesday- soup kitchen day. And Lib- I would have expected her husband’s health to fail before hers, honestly. I guess she’s at home recuperating. They’re such neat people- they’ve been with the soup kitchen for years, and her husband actually won the Channel Nine People Who Care award a year or so ago- film crew at the church and everything. I wish I could go to Soup Kitchen tomorrow just to be with everyone, or that I could go to the funeral tomorrow morning, but I have a major work meeting that I really can’t miss.
4. This week is one of the few times I wish I had a car and/or a cell phone. It would have helped me get in touch with someone for work stuff today and it could have helped me get to either the funeral or Soup Kitchen tomorrow before the meeting. You know things are bad when I wish these things.
5. This work conference is going to be awesome, but the tasks are piling up, and I hope I’m up to it. Dana (our state coordinator) is absolutely wonderful- makes me feel like I am a capable person with leadership and organizational skills who is on top of things, instead of like the unsure, tentative, behind-schedule person I keep feeling like. Tomorrow’s meeting should be good and productive, and the conference call Thursday with the national leadership should clarify even more things. Maybe tomorrow I can even delegate things, and find out what it is that I need to delegate.
6. Work tonight was crazy. The most stressful time of the year at the shelter for me is not Christmas, but the time of year when it gets too cold and too dark to take the kiddos outside at night. They don’t know how to handle themselves inside, and I don’t know how to handle them. Tonight was insane.
7. I haven’t really slept in since…. Monday last week? And I won’t until…. Saturday? This is why today, as a Tuesday, feels so ridiculously much later in the week. The preschool is going well (aside from getting hit in the face yesterday by someone who is apparently my new best friend today), but I was there three days last week, plus yesterday and today, and likely a few hours Thursday. Friday is early work again, and then Saturday will be glorious for sleeping. Not that last weekend had bad reasons for waking up- my mom was in town, and it was really good to have her here. It’s so nice to know that we can just spend time together without having to entertain each other in major ways. We like each other’s company, and can just sit around my living room talking. Plus we went to the movies, the Botanic Gardens, and out to eat a lot. And she got to stay at my house as a guest, which she hadn’t done before. So there were great times. It’s just that I’m exhausted.
8. Sylv told me that Christian won’t be coming to her wedding in October. I’m not glad, and I’m not upset, and I’m glad to know one way or the other. It’s just got me thinking. I’d suspected that he wouldn’t make it out here for it. And I’m also pretty damn sure that really, I will never see him again. Sylv’s wedding is the only thing that could feasibly brought us to the same place, so….. As I’ve said before, it’s weird to have this much closure with an ex-boyfriend. It’s not about closure in terms of the end of the relationship, because I’ve always had that closure. But it’s about, I don’t know….. It’s just weird. That’s as insightful as I can get right now.
9. I am out of Wheat Thins and it is too cold to eat frozen raspberry yogurt. And all my warm pajamas smell like plastic storage bin. These are clearly not traumatic or thought-provoking, just bothersome in my hormonal and temperature state.
10. Time for bed, people. I’m tired and I’m weepy.
