terrypurple73 | (no subject)

I’ve been on the verge of crying for probably two weeks now. Not constantly, by any means, but I’ve been close enough to breaking out the tears enough times that I am wondering what is going on. I originally thought it was PMS, but that’s over with for the time being, and this recurring feeling is not. I think it would be best if I were to just let it out, and the next time I feel like a good cry, I should just stop what I am doing and let loose. But the timing is never convenient, and so this never happens. Watching six other children on a playground at work while I say goodbye to one of my favorite kids ever- that just isn’t the time to turn on the waterworks. Neither is the halfway point on the drive from my house to a friend’s, especially when I am, aside from this weird feeling of wanting to cry, in a downright good mood. The bike ride to work is also not a good place for crying, especially when I know that this type of crying might just take a while, and I have to be to work on time. This all sounds so silly, written out, that I am neglecting my emotions for convenience, but I suppose we all do that at some point. I maybe should just let these tears flow, whatever their purpose is, whatever the breaking point might be. Maybe they are a build-up of what happens every year (okay, the past two and only years) before I go off to school. Do we all remember the floods of tears? The ones that make me cry so hard that it would scare me if I were coherent enough to comprehend what was happening? Well then, here I go, tears welling up in my eyes as I type this. Oh, there went one down my right cheek. Wipe it away, yes, Theresa. Wow, just one, and that felt nice. They’re not gushing, and maybe they won’t tonight. I’m sure they will right before I leave. That’s really only a few weeks away. I don’t even feel overwhelmed, like I have the past two years. The summer just keeps plodding along, while zipping by at the same time. In a few minutes, it will be August, and that means that summer is over. But there are still things happening. Victoria and Jenny will be here this weekend, and that makes me feel as if summer is still very much in swing. But work is over soon- after next week, only three more days. Ten more days of work, and I am done for the summer. That sounds soon. I don’t know what to do about that. What to think. I guess part of the reason behind the tears each time I go back to school is that I am saying goodbye to the people I have grown close to while I am home, and this summer, my kids at work are some of those people.